I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
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