just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
