i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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