Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's work?
Spinning.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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