I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
