I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
