every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
