So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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