That's intense
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
May the power of my ass compel you!!
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
