sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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