So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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