I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
