Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize