I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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