on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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