Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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