so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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