I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
