Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
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just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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