I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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