Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
