he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
