and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
