I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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