pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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