I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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