sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
