am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
