Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
