watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she pinky promised me she was 18
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize