my room smells like sperm. sweet.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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