But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
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Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
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I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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