I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
someone owes me an orgasm
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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