what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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