Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
