we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
