some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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