i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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