so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
