overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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