There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
