I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
