I want you more than these girls want KFC
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
