And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
