i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
