And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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