Ambien. No doubt about it.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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