I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
