You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
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