Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i just google imaged poop.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
