I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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