your room smells of hookers.
And success
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
