there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
