stop calling my apartment porn island.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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