I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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