She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
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Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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