Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
What a dumb baby whore.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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