I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
accomplished twins. life is a go
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
