Betty ford says i'm here all night
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
